Blog Audit: Expansion 1

Addiction is a disease that affects not only the addict but the family as well. Some people do not realize they are not the only ones who suffer. My dad was an alcoholic. He would go out drinking almost every night. It was hard to love him the way I should have loved a dad. He was hardly ever there to raise us kids.

When he tucked us in at night, he said “Mom and I love you very much. Even though we fight, we still care.” I would think about how much I hate him and want him to go away. He would get very depressed when he drank.

It is very similar to the core issues. The core issues I have seen are:

·Drinking became part of the daily routine

~He drank all day every day. I don’t think there was ever a time when he was sober.

·Emotional behavior unstable

~He was always depressed, starting fights with my mom and older brother. There were times when my sister and younger sister would get scared and want to go to someone else’s house for a little while.  

·Psychological absence

~ He was hardly ever home, he was always gone drinking. I don’t have any memories of my dad except the fact that I would go with him to my grandpa’s, his dad, bar. My entire childhood, I grew up without a dad. My grandpa, my mom’s dad, was more of a father figure than my dad was. My grandpa on my mom’s side also drank and owned a bar, but he was there for us kids when my dad was not.

·Shame or blame with use

~I do not know what my parents would argue about, but my dad would apologize and say sorry. My mom said she hated it because he would say it all the time and not mean it or he would say even when he didn’t do anything. He would make her feel bad.

·Skew toward short term adaption to achieve comfort

~I think drinking became a part of him, so when he wasn’t drinking he didn’t know what to do. I think that he drank to comfort him since he was depressed.

·Couples become demoralized

                  ~My mom and dad would always fight. My mom was prepared to leave him. He must have been already checked out of the marriage because they didn’t do and dinner dates or he wouldn’t spend time with us anymore.

I was sitting in English class, when my principle came in and said my brother and sister are here to pick me up. No one said why I was getting picked up early. It was a very quiet car ride home. When my little sister and I went in the house, the song “Daddy’s Hands” was playing. My mom was sitting on the couch with the pastor. My mom and pastor then told me that my dad had passed away. My mom later told me that he had been drinking the night he commit suicide. I was only 9 years old.

I have seen the Intoxication dances play out. I have seen the chronically intoxicated is irresponsible and under functioning. 

My mom remarried about a year or a little more after my dad passed away. He was also an alcoholic.

·Drinking became part of the daily routine

~He would drink every night and walk to the local bar to drink. He would even drive to nearby towns.

·Emotional behavior unstable

~He would get so mad at me, for every little thing. He would start fights with my mom. There was one time I had to call my neighbor and call 911 over after my mom and step dad had a fight. My neighbor had to come over because my mom was hyperventilating and my neighbor was a nurse.

~My step dad would yell at me so much I didn’t want to live at home any longer. Our family vacations would get ruined half way through by my mom and step dad fighting, it would make for a long ride back home.

~He would get so mad at me that he would throw things. It pushed me out of the house at age 18 into my boyfriend’s house that I had only known for a few months, who is now my husband.

·Psychological absence

~My step dad would take off and go somewhere. On time he took a bunch of money out of my mom and his joint account and went to Texas. He left 3 or 4 times and would be gone for a few weeks or a couple months.

·Shame or blame with use

~My step dad would always put my mom down and depressed when he would drink. He would start calling her a cheater and that she has someone on the side. He would get really mad when he drank.

·Couples become demoralized

~My mom didn’t think she could handle it anymore and started looking at divorce. He like always would talk his way out of it. My mom would be looking at divorces more often than a couple should.

           My step dad decided to be sober after my mom threatened him with a divorce. I lost count how many she had brought up divorce since the drinking became a problem. He became sober for a little while, he started drinking again, but not as much as he use too. My mom still gets mad and depressed sometimes.

Because my dad was drinking and I didn’t want anything to do with my step dad since he drank too. After I moved out, I wouldn’t go back home unless my mom was home. I would only go to holidays if my other siblings were going to be there. Everyone in my family has forgiving my step dad except me. I told my husband that when we have kids, I will not let them call him grandpa because I have not forgiven him for what he did when I was growing up.